It was a shitty day. Not in a bad way, in the literal way—brown, smelly, and unforgiving. But it didn’t stop me from making amends with my peacock.

Two moons ago I was with my peacock, drinking down at the fountain of youth, like we do every harvest, when my old friend the wolf came down to party. The fuckin’ asshole came up to our outhouse when we were all having a shit, and told us that his fucking girlfriend (whom I once balled, regrettably) was coming down to take pictures of us all for her shitty tumblr account. I was like, “Fuck this. I’m leaving, you dick” because I wanted to have no part of it, and knew Wolf was trying to get my goat. “Why would you think I want to be anywhere near that know-nothing?”

As it was a rhetorical question, the rest gave no response, just an awkward sniggering and a couple of sighs—which was no surprise to me. I looked at my peacock and said, “Let’s get the fuck out of here before that turd tries to get a picture of us with our pants down.”

Solitude was the feeling I got. Everyone there seemed to like Wolf’s girlfriend, even knowing it would be an embarrassment for me to be seen with her, and I knew that everyone there was a follower of genuwinegoodtime.tumblr.com. I looked at my peacock and she back at me. When she met my glance, her pupils were a negative, and the floor was a positive. I said to myself, “Fuckin’ … God dammit,” and then to the rest, “Alright peacock, I want to get another aquacate at the fountain. You can come with or fuck off.”

And there it was: a goddamn meteor hit the shitter. The hole was bigger than a breadbox by a thousand. I never thought I’d get a reaction like this from such a beautiful bird: her plumage spread out as full as it could get, the eyes at the top of her feathers lit up into a fiery rage; she screamed—it was a thundering roar through a distortion pedal, flames shooting out of the top of her head like a burning gas leak. I looked at Wolf. He was looking at the floor, the walls, everywhere he could without meeting my glance. The rest, they were looking at the floor.

To put it plainly, she was fucking pissed. She was pissed that I gave her an ultimatum that was too much for such a precious bird like her to decide on—to either keep loving a stapler like me with my boring nature and jamming issues, or to stay with the rest of the flock living a guilt-free and innocent life.

I left the outhouse and drank more aguacate than I ever have in my life.

That was two moons ago, and I feel horrible.

Hindsight 20/20, and even though genuwinegoodtime.tumblr.com is a shitty blog, it should make me happy to know it makes others happy. I tore it down like I was playing hide and seek with someone, and left them in hiding because I had to take a shit.

The high and righteousness all but faded now and reality, morality, and humility are telling me I have to write a rap for Peacock for me to ever be on peacock’s good side.

Morality said, “Man, U did a shitty thing to her. Y tho? U had the cards in yo hand to make a straight flush, but you left the game to go take a shit and folded. Y tho?”

Reality said, “ Man U were so fuckin’ high last night! U fuck’d Up”

Humility said, “Touch yo feelings. What do they feel like? I bet they feel like shitty weed. I made this beat for you, write P a rap and make it up to her.”

So I started freestyling my feelings:

Man take a look whats that shit/what u do/took a shit/now its gone/you a dummy/ what the fuck/you a dummy

Then I freestyled my apology:

Baby gurl you know Im sorry/what I did I shouldn’t did/what the fuck was I thinking/Im in love with a peacock/that shits tight/I want you back girl/Ill lick you up/til you come/ back to me/once again/then we can be/cool again/wont you let me/lick yo beak once again

So I had my USB with that hot new track on it mixed by 36DD-20 in my pocket. Like I said, it was a shitty day, but I felt good about it.

So I hopped off the shit bridge down into shit creek, found a nice shit log and floated down to the shit delta, hung a rat in shit lake and walked up the shit path up to peacocks log cabin, and knocked on the door.

Her color turned white when she saw me. And soon turned bright red. She asked me what the fuck I was doing there.

“Well, P, listen. I did a lot of reflecting last moon, and decided I can’t let the past interfere with what we have going for us now. So I made an apology rap over T-Tyme’s newest beat for you, cause I know T-Tyme is your favorite producer. Here it is, if you wanna hear it, or I could do it a capella for you.” Her face softened the slightest bit, and she invited me in.

She brought us both aguacate and I felt relieved and comfortable. After a couple moments of silence, I put on the new T-Tyme track and the shit just started flowing out of my ass.

After my freestyle was over, we both looked down at the floor for a bit, reflecting. The track was still blasting bass that shook her nest like Kim Jong Il in rigor mortis.

She slowly got up from the couch still looking down. I was standing by the fish tank, looking at her. When she got close enough, she lifted her eyes to mine, and kissed me on the cheek.

She looked back down at the ground, and slowly turned around. I looked down at her plumage, a bright and full plumage, and my face turned flush.

The track hit the chorus. My peacock bent her knees like she was about to fall, then brought her tail feather right up to my sweet spot, and started twerking the hardest she ever twerked in her life.

We spent the rest of the night, and into the morning twerking and grinding the rest of the night, not stopping until one of us had to take a shit.

We’ve since been loving each other endlessly, starting a joint tumblr and finding many followers.

I made amends with the one I love, and couldn’t be happier.